Monthly Archives: March 2012

On competition, inadequacy, and self torment.

I’ve had this washing around in my head for a few weeks now, and it’s something I feel I want to share. I didn’t know whether or not to share it before, it’s a touchy subject, but hey, here goes…

I’m a competitive person by nature – it’s one of the reasons that no one wants to play monopoly with me – and I personally think it’s one of my best attributes. I strive to achieve in as many aspects of my life as possible, but I always take the rough with the smooth where failure & road-bumps are concerned. I’m usually pretty good at picking myself up, dusting myself off, and moving on to the next adventure (or, try try trying again).

Lately I’ve been feeling tormented by a few other people in my life that constantly make me feel inadequate, whether they know they do this or not is up for debate (I’m pretty sure they don’t!). It’s starting to make my mojo crash, and that’s the WORST thing that could happen.

I’ve started to become preoccupied with what these people will do next to knock me down a block or two, or shift my focus away from my goals… or generally make me feel like a failure. Adam bears the brunt of my grumblings on the subject (as do several of my friends), another area where he just listens and lets me get things off my chest, but it’s really not his problem the deal with.. nor is it the people that have this effect. It’s all down to me.

Reading this post from Modish Blog put things into a lot of perspective, and made me realise that my problem is my own. I’m already taking steps to rid myself of this baggage, mainly by switching my attitude and focus, but also by taking a step back and realising what this could potentially do to my business/life/career.

So yeah… I’m trying not to dwell on it anymore, and what better time to make a change than now, when the skies and blue and the sun’s shining through my office window. I already feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

Have you ever had similar feelings? How did you deal with them?

In other news, things may be a little quiet around here in the next couple of weeks. I’m working on a redesign & will be back with a little relaunch! Hip Hop Sideproject’s growing up!

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